[Open] Wishing you were somehow here again

[Cara]

Cara sat on the stool of the baby grand piano that sat in the back corner of the Dakota Halls' common room. Her fingers danced over the keys, the haunting melody floated around the room, the sound of the pianist's voice caressed the notes

"You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could here your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you helped me to do
All that you dreamed I could.

Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companion, you were warm and gentle"

She had been doing some reminiscing, both about her parents and the mare that had been left at Blue Ridge when she graduated two years ago. She had been to see Phantom of the Opera, which the song she was playing and singing had come from the last time she had been in England, when she attending boarding school. The song seemed to fit perfectly with her own life. Closing her eyes, the song continued

"Too many years
Fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die!

Wishing you were here again
Knowing we must say goodbye

Try to forgive
Teach me to live
Give me the strength to try!

No more memories
No more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years

Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye!"

She played the last two cords and the music seemed to hang in the air as her fingers rested on the keys.

[Pasture Puff]

Tiffany dumped her knapsack down onto her bed, and slipped out the door. She’d promised to ring her father when she’d gotten through customs, but then she’d lost her phone at the airport, and hadn’t had any change to make a call from one of the pay phones.

She dragged her fingers through her messy hair, and pulled a face, when she caught sight of her reflection in the window. ‘I should have changed my clothes,’ she thought, glancing down at herself with a frown. Shrugging off that nagging voice, she walked a little faster, trying to ignore the feeling like she was going to get caught for sneaking around or something.

The hallway suddenly turned a corner, opening up onto a bigger room. The door had been left ajar, and Tiffany stood on tiptoes, peering through the crack to see if there was anyone in there. It looked pretty empty, and saying a silent prayer of thank you, she pushed open the door and walked in.

A small, dark-haired girl sat at the piano, and Tiffany’s mouth made a small ‘O’ of surprise. “Oh...um, hi there,” she said lamely. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and she ducked her head so her hair fell over her face. “I was just looking for a phone. I didn’t see you back there.” She offered the girl a lopsided grin, “Sorry.”

[Cara]

Cara's fingers jumped off the keys in an almost guilty fashion as a voice filled the room. "Hello." She replied, at least her clipped English accent seemed to fit in here. "People often look through me." The words were said lightly enough, but without a trace of emotion they sounded so much harder than she meant them to be.

She nodded over to the table not too far from the girl who had entered the common room. "There is a phone there. You don't need to dial anything to get out." She knew all this even though she never needed to use the phone - she didn't have anyone to call.

She pressed her lips together, not sure what to say next. Even with all her college papers, she still couldn't start a simple conversation with people around her own age or older. Her fingers hovered over the keys of the piano and to break the suddenly uncomfortable silence she started to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. She enjoyed music as much as she enjoyed being with animals as there was a freedom in the notes as they danced through the air.

[Pasture Puff]

Tiffany turned even redder. “It wasn’t... I mean, I didn’t mean it like that,” she stammered. Biting her lip when the girl turned away, she headed over to the phone. Someone had touched it with something sticky, and scowling, Tiffany wiped the mess off with a tissue. Her fingers hovered over the buttons, but she couldn’t find it in herself to dial.

The girl started playing, and Tiffany looked up when she recognized the music as one of Beethoven’s pieces. She put down the phone receiver and glanced over at the girl, surprised by how well she played.

“You are really good,” Tiffany blurted out, and she rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably, thinking now would be the perfect time for the ground to open up and swallow her. “My mom tried to teach me when I was younger, but I’m all thumbs,” she added with a laugh. It felt strangely embarrassing to admit she couldn’t do something, but Tiffany was starting to get tired of trying to live up to everyone’s expectations.

[Cara]

Cara dropped her head, instantly shamed from the other girl's words. "No, I am sorry." She replied in a whisper soft voice. She wanted to know where her new sarcastic streak had come from and she wanted to get rid of it. She had never been one to open her mouth and speak without thinking!

She played the song softly, something she loved about grand pianos was that you could either play loud enough to fill the entire room, or soft enough that the notes bounced softly through the air, creating a bubble around the person playing.

She looked up as the person at the door spoke again and nodded. "Thank you." She replied and a smile tugged at her lips, she'd always like the all thumbs comment. "Between you and me, it's a curse. I play by ear, so I can listen to anything and then play it as though I have the sheet music in front of me. I am called Cara."

[Pasture Puff]

Tiffany shrugged her shoulders. “At least if your job falls through you could always go and audition for the orchestra,” she joked. Cara looked around her own age, maybe one or two years older, and Tiffany swallowed her surprise. She shot a quick glance down at the piano, and in her mind she saw her mom’s smiling face, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders.

Tiffany shifted uncomfortably, and pretended to be busy picking at a loose thread on her shirt. She felt hot tears sting her eyes, and she blinked them angrily away. ‘You're such a cry baby’, she thought, and shook her head to clear her mind of thoughts about her mom. Cara was waiting, and Tiffany took a deep breath, trying to ignore the catch she felt in her chest. “Anyways, I’m Tiffany,” she began, and offered the girl a wobbly smile.

[Cara]

Cara's face didn't even reflect the humor in the girl's joke. It wasn't a personal choice, it's just how the girl was, how she had always been. Or at least how she had always been for as long as she could remember. She glanced down at the glossy piano, trying to bring up an image of her parents but nothing would come to the surface. She had finally broken away from the horror that she called her childhood, and still there was a wall between her and the past that she so desperately wanted to remember. People often mentioned things tearing at their heartstrings, but her pain was almost physical.

"Too many years
Fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die!"

She sung the words softly.

"Wishing you were here again

Try to forgive
Teach me to live
Give me the strength to try!

No more memories
No more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years

Help me say goodbye"

The gentle words made the back of her eyes burn with tears that threatened to fall but she wouldn't allow it to happen, she refused to allow that weakness to be shown to anyone!

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she looked up at the other girl again. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Tiffany." She said gently.

[Pasture Puff]

Tiffany glanced down at Cara, feeling a sudden, sharp pang of jealously when she started to sing. The girl’s fingers moved lightly over the piano keys, and it was like a shutter had gone up between them while she played. Tiffany's thoughts were miles away, thinking of next summer and graduation. She felt a flutter of excitement, letting her imagination get the better of her. She was so caught up by her daydreaming, it took her a minute to realize the music had stopped. She blinked, and looked over at Cara, surprised to see the girl smiling.

“You play anymore songs like that and I’ll think I’ll go back to my dorm room and finish myself off!” Tiffany blurted out before she could stop herself. She clapped a hand to her mouth, realizing what she’d said. Her face flushed bright red, and she felt that familiar sinking feeling in her stomach. “I mean, it’s such a perfect day, I think something a bit cheerier would be nice,” she said weakly, and shrugged her shoulders as if she'd only been joking.

[Cara]

Cara's eyebrows shot up at the girl's words and her fingers, that were poised neatly over the keys, curled up. She wasn't sure how to react to the girl's outburst, especially with the words that quickly followed them. She pressed her lips together and chewed on her lower lip as she processed her thoughts. She clenched her fists as the girl's first words brought the image to mind of when she had tried to take her own life, but she shook the thought off as she tried to clear her mind.

"One would need to have cherry thoughts to play cherry music." She replied in a deadpan voice. She had been playing to try and sort out her own emotions, not for the pleasure of other people. She stood up from the piano stool. "I shall leave you in peace to make your phone call, as my presence seems to be disrupting your privacy." With a graceful curtsy, she swept out of the room every bit the lady she had been fashioned into during her schooling in Birmingham.

[Pasture Puff]

Tiffany let out her breath in a whoosh. She hadn’t been making fun of Cara, but now the girl obviously hated her. “Why thank you, your Ladyship,” she muttered sarcastically, and shook her head. There was no need to be such a snob. She’d only meant it as a joke, but the girl had seemed so grown-up anyway that maybe she’d thought Tiffany was just some dumb kid.

Tiffany decided it might be best to go talk to Cara later, but for now, she had better ring her dad and let him know she was okay before he got worried. She dialled the number, and it seemed to ring for a long time. Tiffany started to panic. What if he didn’t answer? What if she interrupted him while he was doing something important?

“There was a click, and a groggy sounding voice on the other end picked up. Tiffany cringed when she realised the time difference must have meant her dad was sleeping. She opened her mouth, but to her surprise, nothing came out. There was a heavy silence, and her chest felt tight and hot. Tiffany was about to hang up when she heard her name. Taking a deep breath, she tried her best to sound normal but her voice sounded funny even to her own ears. “Hi dad,” she said in a rush. “It’s me.”